Three Questions for Every Marriage

Since the anticipation of and the day of your wedding gave you some of the highest expectations you’ve ever had in your life … like, “Woo hoo … I’m getting married, my life is going to be perfect … this is the moment I’ve been waiting for …”  

The expectations we put on that day and the days and years after set us up for the greatest potential of disappointment in our lives. We set the highest and most unrealistic expectations for ourselves and our spouses. 

Why do marriages go south? Let’s talk about some habits that tend to lead to divorce. These are unhealthy habits that put you on the road to the big D and I don’t mean Dallas (Mark Chesnutt, 1994). The first key to bringing maximum health to your marriage is to understand what the problem or problems might be.

If you’ve been divorced, this message isn’t meant to guilt you or put you down. I’m not trying to unscramble the egg. Love is grand, divorce is a hundred grand … I get it… I’m talking about where you’re at right now. The marriage you find yourself in today. For those of you who are single, this will help you get some tools that will help you when you do get married. Not only that, these are helpful questions for any relationship.

I want you to answer the following three questions by writing down your response. Then later, I want you to talk to your spouse about it. This can help you diagnose what specific area or areas in your marriage that need attention. 

1. What is an unrealistic expectation you’ve had of your spouse?

When you take two very imperfect people and put them in a marriage, you don’t get a perfect marriage. But that doesn’t mean your marriage can’t be great! I don’t know many other areas in life where we have higher unrealistic expectations than we do in marriage. Even the dating process sets us up for disappointment. We say things we wouldn’t normally say, do things you wouldn’t normally do, and go places we wouldn’t normally go! Let’s take the honeymoon for example. You’re eating food you may never eat again, spending money you don’t typically spend, in a place you’ll probably never go back to. Fast forward 9 months and you’re looking at Mr. or Mrs. Bedhead with morning breath and noxious gasses and you’re wondering “What happened?!” 

2. What’s one difference you and your spouse have, that you’ve had a difficult time accepting?

We’ve all heard the saying, “opposites attract.” And once you’re married, “opposites attack!” We have to learn to accept our differences. Sure, we can work on them. But we shouldn’t resent one another for our differences. One of God’s main tools for spiritual growth is your marriage relationship. It’s a theological word called sanctification. He brings opposites together, man and woman, and we’ve got to figure it out. We’ve got to learn how to submit to one another, because of our reverence for Christ. 

3. Ask your spouse to name one unresolved issue in your marriage?

It might be finances, how to raise your children, sex … you may already know what they are going to say. But we need to have this conversation! This is the sensitive topic that brings out the claws, that repeatedly goes unresolved. Here’s the reality. Marriage doesn’t create so much problems as it does reveal them. And this is what we have to do … we have to start with ourselves. We need to turn to God and say, “What do I need to change about me?” Whenever a spouse is willing, the other spouse eventually comes around.

You may be reading this and thinking, Jeremy, you don’t know what they’ve done to me. And you’re right, I don’t. But I know what Christ has done for you. And because of what He did on the cross for you and I, despite what we have done, we too can forgive one another. Ephesians 5:21 says it like this … “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This is such an important statement. Out of reverence for Christ, your marriage is worth working on! Culture will tell you the grass is greener on the other side. But Christ wants you to know the grass is greener where you water it! On the 67 freeway in San Diego there’s a giant billboard right now that reads “Easy Divorce.” Let me tell you this, it’s really easy to divorce a spouse, it’s really hard to divorce your best friend. When we face these three questions out of reverence for Christ we will soon find our best friend and get off the road that leads to divorce. 

Avoiding Burn Out

No matter who you are or what city, state, or country you live in, you are allotted a maximum of 168 hours a week that comes in 24 hour segments called days and adds up to 7 days a week. Yet, if you’re like me, our to-do lists are never-ending and rest always appears just out of reach. 

As the Lead Pastor at Skyline Church, I’ve definitely been trying to sprint a marathon and rest has been just out of reach. Quite often, being a pastor requires twenty-four-hour availability. A pastor is never truly “off.” And the problem is … I LOVE IT.

Maybe you feel this way too? Whether your work, family, volunteering, finances, or even social media make you feel like you always have to be “on,” you’re struggling to find rest. Today I want to focus on characteristics of burnout. I’ll mainly focus on pastors but these principles apply to anyone who is sprinting the marathon of life.

Studies report that 90% of pastors do not retire from the ministry; rather they burn out, quit, or have a moral failure. This is shocking, particularly in light of Jesus’ words, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” 

The Battle Begins With the Pastor

The health and vitality of churches is dependent upon the health and vitality of pastors. The statistics mentioned below are so alarming that they cannot be ignored. There’s a clear correlation between the declining health of pastors and the declining health of churches. These statistics are before COVID, so we can imagine it is even worse now.

  • 50% of ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
  • 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.
  • 4,000 new churches begin each year and 7,000 churches close.
  • Over 1,700 pastors leave the ministry every month.
  • Over 3,500 people a day decide to leave their church.

Those statistics are hard to swallow but the truth is the truth. Pastors seem to view ministry like a sprint instead of a marathon, thus we may not even recognize that we’re on the road to burnout as we strive to reach our goals, aspirations, and purpose. However, we often find ourselves sprinting towards workaholism, depression, fatigue, and various other health and moral issues.

How we prioritize our life is seen in where we put our time and energy. All aspects of life demand our attention, but where are you placing your focus? I recognize that even in the church there’s this invisible force conditioning us to overwork, not take breaks, vacations, or sabbaticals. Recognizing this is very important because a lack of personal renewal leads to spiritual dryness and burnout. 

Identifying Characteristics of Pastoral Burnout

After extensive research in my doctoral studies, I have found the following three characteristics identify common signs of burnout in pastors. 

Characteristics and Solutions to Burnout

1. Lack of Rest and Recreation

Have you experienced the unwritten rule that you need to work harder, longer, and move at a faster pace than anyone else? The first and most common characteristic of burnout is a lack of rest. Many of us do not have proper boundaries in place to protect our time. Our heart to serve causes us to want to be the good guy or the one the congregation can always count on. However, it is this heart to serve and help others that becomes a double-edged sword. Being “on” all the time comes at a high price. The first thing to go is rest and recreation. 
Many pastors and leaders thrive off the adrenaline rush that ministry can provide. We become addicted to being busy and working tirelessly. For this reason, it’s important to schedule in rest before our calendar fills up. If rest is not scheduled, it can easily get pushed to the bottom of the list of priorities. When it comes to the issue of scheduling the time, there is really only one person responsible for making this happen. No matter how busy a person may be, that responsible person is none other than the one in the mirror. However, it seems we would rather entertain the need to feel like an indispensable busy body. News flash … everyone is indeed replaceable.

Solution: The importance of taking time to rest, reflect, and refuel cannot be overstated. To get good rest means to disconnect entirely, to have none of your regular work/pastoral responsibilities, and if necessary to get out of town far enough away that if there is a crisis you couldn’t do anything about it. Although getting out of town may not always be possible every single week, it’s important to do so at least annually. Schedule at least one or two times a year where you get out of town for consecutive days or weeks. You’ll be amazed at how much relief you feel as you drive or fly out of the stress zone towards your vacation destination.

Now, I’m not talking to lazy people here. There are lazy pastors and lazy people in all vocations.  And while lazy people will always exist and always try to manipulate the benevolent time off or vacation system set up in their particular place of work, rest is necessary for those overworking and sprinting too hard. So, start by scheduling an annual getaway.

That’s the big picture, but what about the weekly grind? On a weekly basis, it may be just a day or two a week where the phone is turned off and the email is not checked and rest and recuperation are the main focus of that day. To get the rest we need, we need to have boundaries and not let people encroach or break down those boundaries. We cannot fall into the trap of thinking that we can or need to do everything. The church actually becomes less healthy and less of a biblical church community when ministry is not shared among believers (see Ephesians 4).

2. Discouragement

A second characteristic of burnout is the feeling of discouragement. Discouragement can come in many forms, though mainly through conflict, criticism, and division within the church. It should be no surprise that the average pastoral tenure is between three and four years. That’s just about the time the honeymoon is over and people begin to feel comfortable enough to let the pastor know how they really feel.

Maybe you’ve experienced criticism while serving in your church. When criticism is levied, pastors may not feel like addressing the issue. One may feel it is more Jesus-like to simply “turn the other cheek” for fear of offending someone. This only adds to the discouragement, and this is not the Jesus way. Jesus confronted and he even offended. Jesus said, “It is impossible that no offenses should come.” On many occasions, Jesus confronted those who needed it, especially the Pharisees. We all need to love those in our church enough to speak the truth and when necessary confront the critic or the creator of the conflict.

When discouragement piles up, it becomes difficult for us to see the vision God has for a given ministry. At Skyline Church, our staff and leaders are constantly reminding one another and keeping the vision for our church in front of us. It’s necessary for this reason: Complaints speak louder than compliments. You may receive fifteen compliments and one complaint about the same topic, and the complaint is the one we remember. It’s unfortunate yet it is human nature. 

Criticism often leads to conflict and conflict is one of the main reasons for discouragement. Enough discouragement and anyone is tempted to throw their hands up in defeat, wondering if it is really worth the trouble. This discouragement leaves us feeling like we can never live up to the expectations set before us.

Solution: One of the primary ways to defeat discouragement is through what has already been stated in scheduling rest and recreation. This is of great importance in having a renewed mind and heart and being ready to fight the good fight. However, there are many other ways to defeat discouragement.

One of the most effective ways is to connect with other people who are in the same boat as you. Some of our healthiest leaders at Skyline Church are connected in one way or another to a support group with people within or outside our own congregation. It’s important to be around others who have no expectations of you. This can give us a sense of realness and relief that we’re not regularly experiencing.

This is one way to turn the “on” dial way down when we’re unable to take that annual get away just yet. It’s important to share your burdens, expectations, and pressures with others who are in a similar position. I guarantee that doing life in community with others will bring you encouragement and refreshment.

3. Unrealistic Expectations

We are often our own worst enemy. Having the heart to serve and please people can backfire when we’re just not able to live up to our own lofty expectations. Saying no is a challenge for a lot of people. We may even know in the back of our mind that no one is limitless, yet we tend to act otherwise. You are not superhuman. In fact, it’s good practice to confess your limitations. 

The Lord is the only limitless One. Realizing this frees us to be who we are meant to be in life and in ministry. Every human being is limited, on purpose and for a purpose. We must remember to acknowledge our limits as pastors, leaders, volunteers, parents, co-workers … you name it. People demand much of us because they are used to, or expecting to get what they want. Unrealistic expectations ultimately lead to burnout.

Solution: Remember this … when you say “yes” to everything, you’re actually saying “no” to something. Ask yourself what you’re saying “no” to. Is it your physical health, mental health, family, another opportunity? 

Burn Out Prevention

I’ll leave you with this analogy … it’s no secret that injury prevention is key in sports. Professional sports teams spend millions of dollars on injury prevention for their athletes. They know the investment means keeping the player in the game. They view their work as vital to helping an athlete make it through the long season uninjured thereby giving the team the greatest chance to succeed. This concept can also be applied to the “sport” of ministry. 

The reality is that more and more people are entering the marathon of ministry, yet only a few finish the race well. This is very discouraging for the church and the mission of helping people find and follow Jesus seven days a week. Many will avoid this race because it is just too hazardous an occupation! However, there is hope. Burnout is absolutely preventable! Just as injury prevention is key in professional sports, injury prevention is key in thriving in ministry.

Saved People Serve People

After a very long sprint of doing ministry, I’m excited to take a break. Merging Seven San Diego Church and Skyline Church only to turn around and face the most unprecedented year of challenges with crazy COVID rules and regulations … that really set a tone for sprinting this marathon of ministry life. I am thankful that we opened, faced the pressure from the County, shouted our stance from the rooftops to the media, politicians and anyone else who wanted to know. We stayed open and served people all year and we will continue to do so. 

We’ve built some great momentum (we’ve added over 2,500 new people every Sunday taking us over 5,200 people in average attendance last month). We’ve overcome some incredible obstacles and strengthened our Pastoral Team with God’s leading and blessing over the course of the past few years. 

I’m confident that spiritual fruit will continue to grow while I am away for this short vacation. While no physical, mental, or spiritual injuries have occurred, I know that rest is the next best step for me to take as your lead pastor at Skyline Church … even though I LOVE THE SPRINT … but I know I need to prepare for the marathon, not just the sprint. For the next few weeks, I will be taking some time off from my regular pastoral duties to fully unplug and recharge. Our outstanding pastoral team and staff will be here to take care of any and all needs you may have.

One of the core values of Skyline Church is “Saved People Serve People.” This is part of the DNA of Skyline Church. We are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus! As we look to the future, we believe God has a tremendous vision and plan for Skyline Church. This plan will require that our core members assist in serving our new body of believers with the ultimate goal of living out our purpose of “Helping people find and follow Jesus seven days a week.” 

For those who are stepping more and more into ministry by serving with their time and gifts, it is important to identify common characteristics of burnout AND then adhering to the solutions mentioned above. We value you and your walk with the Lord and want you to stay rested, encouraged, and fulfilled in serving the great commission. This will not only help ministries survive the marathon but thrive all the way through the finish line.

Can You Hear Me Now?

I’m so excited about the feedback we’ve been receiving during our Relationship Rehab series! I really do believe that the Word of God absolutely changes lives. Recently, we’ve heard several testimonies of how God’s Word has been changing marriages. In some of my recent blogs, Marriage Is Cake or The Sugar of Marriage, we touched on the first portion of this series, Perfect Marriage. This week I want to speak about “How to be heard.” How we speak to our spouses is so important for the trajectory of our marriages. Not only does this skill apply to marriages, but it will apply to any relationship!

Being Heard

When you love someone you pay attention. Love is attention. It costs much more than money. We can always get more money, but we can’t get more time. We are all allotted a certain amount of time. When you pay attention you are giving someone a piece of your life. It is a highly valued currency in our culture that we often neglect. We all hunger for the attention of our loved ones and when we don’t get it we may react in ways that do more harm than good.

Just as much as we want to be heard, we have to be willing to listen–especially to our spouses and loved ones. Thankfully, giving someone attention is a skill that can be learned. Here are three Bible verses to remember when wanting to be heard. 

1. Think Before You Speak!

 Proverbs 16:23

“Intelligent people think before they speak: what they say is then more persuasive.”

You may have heard this saying a thousand times, but did you know it was a Bible verse? Think before you speak!
 
If you actually take time to think about what you’re going to say before you bring up issues in a conversation, you’re going to have greater impact. So often, we think that if we get really emotional then our audience will understand how upset we are. But in reality, if you come at someone red in the face, emotion is THE ONLY thing that person sees and hears. We need to remember that when we’re having a big conversation, emotion is the enemy. You will also want to bring up your thoughts with God before you bring up an emotional conversation with your spouse. Consider what you’re going to say prayerfully, and you will have even greater impact!

2. Why Should Anyone Listen?

Ephesians 4:29

“(Speak) only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that may benefit those who listen.”

We’re often thinking of just ourselves when we speak or give others our attention. So then you may ask yourself “why should I put others first?” It’s very simple. Because of Jesus Christ. When we consider our reverence for Him, it makes us want to put others before ourselves…just like He did. Instead of subconsciously asking yourself, “Why am I listening to this” or “What’s in it for me,” start with their needs and ask yourself “What is in it for them?”
 
This applies to either side of the conversation. When you’re speaking, start with their needs. People typically connect to these three things when listening to what you’re saying: Things that could be threatening, things that are unique, and things that the listener values. If you want to be heard, start with the things that your audience values. When you consider their needs, you’re more likely to be heard.

3. Pick The Right Time.

Ecclesiastes 8:6

“For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter …”

The writer of Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a right time and a right way to do everything. We’re wasting our breath if we do not wait for the right moment to speak. You can have the happiest news in the world, but if your timing is off, it will fall on deaf ears. You might be ready … but ask yourself if your audience is ready. Are they tired, frustrated, or even hangry? Take your time to say what it is you want to say!

For example … have you ever wondered why we have worship music before the message on Sundays? When our services start, I’m FIRED up! But I know the timing of my message isn’t right until you’ve had a second to take a deep breath and relax in your seat. Participating in worship prepares our hearts for what God wants to speak into each of our lives specifically.

Application

It’s important that we don’t just acknowledge these things as “good biblical principles.” We need to apply the Word of God to our lives in all areas and that includes our marriages. It’s important to read the Bible as though it’s highly practical because it is! A lot of people stop reading the Bible because they assume the messages will go right over their heads. We forget that the Bible was given to us to use, remember, and to give us daily hope in our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Applying God’s Word to our lives draws us closer to Christ and tells Him that He has permission to do a work in us that we could not do ourselves. You may think your marriage is too far gone, but God’s not done with you yet! For more on “how to be heard,” join us in our Relationship Rehab series on Sundays in person or online at SkylineChurch.org.

How to be heard/How to Get Them To Listen/Relationship Rehab Sermon Series/Skyline Church

The Sugar Of Marriage

At Skyline Church, we’re in a new teaching series called Relationship Rehab. While this series pertains to all relationships, the first two weeks have specifically pertained to marriage. We’ve acknowledged there are NO Perfect Marriages. While perfect marriages don’t exist, I’ve been using the illustration of six essential ingredients when making a cake that symbolize key ingredients to a sweeter marriage.


In my blog last week, “Marriage Is Cake“, I reviewed the first three ingredients: Communication, Consideration, and Compromise. You may take a look at that list and already know that those are some pretty hefty ingredients that could use some work in your day-to-day relationships. I want to invite you to read “Marriage Is Cake” before diving into “The Sugar Of Marriage.”

The Sugar Of Marriage

Contact is the sugar of a marriage relationship! Sugar is absolutely necessary when baking a cake and it’s absolutely a key ingredient to a sweeter marriage. As human beings, we’re not just spiritual, we’re physical! We need consistent physical contact.

Contact At A New Low

During COVID we’ve drifted away from the natural human need of physical contact in all of our relationships, not just our marriages. Culturally, we’ve become less socially accepting of high fives, friendly hugs, handshakes, and all because people are living in fear. We’ve seen divorce, depression, alcoholism, and suicide rates rise while the death rate for COVID remains less than 1%. Culture is pushing us over the cliff of irrational fear. Our social skills are decreasing and so are our interpersonal skills with those we love the most. It’s no surprise that our lack of socialization and human contact are affecting our marriages.

We NEED affection in our marriages. Remember when you first started dating your spouse and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? Now, we use that old excuse of not “feeling” affectionate. Here’s the thing folks … feelings always follow behavior. That’s why when we’re dating it’s important to save sex for marriage. Why? Because feelings grow much deeper when we act on those intimate impulses. Feelings followed behavior when you were dating and they follow behavior now. If you’re not “feeling affectionate” … you gotta bake it ’til you make it! Just like baking a cake takes time and effort, you gotta be intentional about what ingredients you’re putting into your marriage. Once we’re married, we can’t let a day go by without expressing affection for our mate. In order to have a thriving marriage, not just a surviving marriage, we have to have physical contact. 


1 Corinthians 7:3 says it in this way, “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.”


Yes, the Bible talks about sex. A lot actually. And so should we. Have a discussion with your spouse about sex and physical contact, and ask yourselves where you fall on a 1-10 scale (1 being needs work and 10 being on track).

Courting

How physical contact is achieved is different to each spouse. Here’s the thing with men, we’re typically goal-oriented. Not all men, but generally this is a guy thing. When a man is pursuing a woman, he does a lot of things he doesn’t normally do. He’ll go through great lengths to reel in a woman he’s set his eyes and heart on. But the moment the wedding is over, he subconsciously reaches a mindset of … “Mission Accomplished!” He’s on to the next goal. And the NEXT goal, is providing for his wife and this growing family that he loves so much. Away goes the roses, candy, opera, and whatever tasks he performed to win over the woman he pursued. Providing for the family is often how a husband believes they are ultimately demonstrating love to their spouse. 

However, we have to acknowledge that the key to consistent physical contact is consistent courting. I’m trying to stick to “C” words throughout this series to make these ingredients easy to remember, but courting is very simply dating with intentionality. Dating your spouse will present opportunities for physical contact to thrive in your marriage. A brush of the shoulder, holding hands, kiss on the cheek… all these moments might have seemed like flirting when you first started dating, but they are all still very necessary in your marriage. If you and your spouse have drifted apart and are not seeing contact flourish in your marriage, courting is going to help you revive those intimate feelings you once experienced when dating. 

Caution

1 Corinthians 6:16, “There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact …” (MSG).

Sex is meant to draw two people together in a profound way that we may not realize at first. It’s spiritually bonding. The more we abstain from coming together sexually in our marriages, the more room we make for the enemy to divide our marriage. As we know, the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). He’ll bring temptation through outside relationships, pornography, and many other crafty ways. Porn specifically is an issue across the board for women almost as much as men. Pornography is a drug that will ruin your marriage. It is addicting and devastating to marriages.

Come Together

So here’s what I want you to do. Communicate where you are in your marriage when it comes to contact. Be compassionate with your spouse and what he or she has to say. Compromise a way to get back on track. If your spouse says I think we’re at a 6, the appropriate response is … What will it take to get to a 10? This conversation isn’t meant to turn into a fight, to prove a side, dig up the past, or anything other than moving forward.   We all know there are ups and downs in every relationship. There are NO Perfect Marriages. Take this conversation seriously, don’t take it lightly. No one wants a cake without sugar, and no one wants a marriage without contact.

To learn more about the last two ingredients to a sweeter marriage, you can join us in this teaching series on the Skyline YouTube Channel.

Marriage Is Cake

We’re in a brand-new teaching series at Skyline Church that we’re calling Relationship Rehab. Coming out of Covid and lockdowns and all the anger and division that has been going on, we need to look at our relationships from a biblical perspective. What does God say about our relationships? Our relationships can truly use some rehabilitation.  

Marriages and Relationships

For the first several messages we’ll be looking at marriages. While I titled this blog Marriage Is Cake, we know it can be anything but. However, there are some key ingredients that will make a sweet marriage. 

For some people this series will be review. For others it will be marriage saving. The Bible clearly lays out our responsibilities as couples. It tells us how to have thriving relationships. However, we don’t always follow the advice God gives us. 

These principles are not only for couples. Single people will gain a lot from these messages because the biblical principles for great marriages are also biblical principles for any relationship. During this series I will be addressing singlehood as a Christian specifically as well. 

This last Sunday, I used the illustration of making a cake. Just like there are key ingredients to making a great cake, there are key ingredients to making a great marriage. In the next couple of weeks, I will be laying out all the ingredients, but this week I named three primary ingredients.  

Communication

The first ingredient to a sweet marriage is Communication. You’ve got to have good consistent communication if you’re going to have a good marriage. I asked people to rate themselves on how they’re doing with communication in their marriage. How they personally think they are doing, individually, not how they think their spouse is doing. The goal is to have each person take the evaluation and then come together over lunch or dinner and talk about it. What you’ll notice is that each couple likely has a different number on the scale of 1-10. It’s a conversation starter to get couples moving toward more consistent communication.  

Consideration

The second key ingredient is Consideration. If you’re not being considerate in your marriage your marriage is falling apart. Being considerate of one another is not optional. When we first start dating, we’re so considerate of one another. Guys, we open the door for her (we still should) but little things like that get lost and instead of opening the car door for her we think consideration is waiting for her to get both legs in the car before taking off. Things can change over time. But that’s why we must be intentional in our communication and in our consideration.  

Compromise

The third ingredient is Compromise. In every relationship there must be compromise. When you get married, you quickly realize it cannot all be about your wants and desires. Marriage is a school of teaching you unselfishness. 

There are many compromises we must make in marriage. If marriage is going to be about “WE and not ME” you have to compromise on what kind of vacations you take, how you’re going to raise the kids, how much time you spend with the in-laws, what restaurant you’re going to, the list goes on and on. If it’s “my way or the highway” over time, the highway will be calling. 

The Purpose

God’s purpose for your marriage is not happiness. Sure, that can be a benefit to marriage, if you do these things we talk about in this series, you will be happy, that is a benefit of marriage. But it is not the purpose of marriage. God’s purpose for marriage is holiness, not happiness. It’s to make you more and more like Christ. The more sacrificial and serving you are in your marriage, the more Christ-like you are becoming. Truly one of the goals in marriage is to out-serve and out-sacrifice the other. When two people are doing that, you’ll have a very happy and holy marriage. 

This Sunday …

These are just the first three ingredients. This coming Sunday, I’m going to give you the next three. I’d love to hear your thoughts on these first three and how you’re doing with them. Share some of the practices that have made your marriage successful and share some of the things you’ve learned if you’ve had a marriage that didn’t work out.  

For example, do you and your spouse communicate consistently? Where and when? What is your typical weekly communication routine? Also, comment below if you took the evaluation after each point and how it went when you talked with your spouse. I’d love to hear your feedback and thoughts on how it’s going and tips and tricks you’ve used in your marriage. State how long you’ve been married and share your thoughts in the comment section. Who knows, you might just give me a great illustration for Sunday! (you will remain nameless) 🙂